When you say “high school reunion”, I automatically think about “Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion”. I guess that movie pretty much created the base for my concept of that “milestone” event.
A million and one shows and movies later, a “high school reunion” meant, at least to me, something of a hit or miss. On one hand, I kind of expect it to be something exciting and nostalgic, something worth looking forward to. In it, I could meet classmates from way back, catch up with them, tell stories, reminisce, and generally have a good time. On the other hand, as many many shows/movies portrayed, it could be a huge pain in the butt where one’s self-esteem can be trampled on unwittingly/deliberately by said classmates.
Right after university, when I started working, I was actually looking forward to our reunion. Not that I was shivering with anticipation, but if you asked me then, I was more likely to go.
However, a few more years down the road and major life changes after, ironically, I feel like I am still the same me that I was back in high school. I am aware of a lot of changes in me, but that’s the thing, the changes are WITHIN me. Physically, I pretty much still look like how I did back then, save for the bigger eye bags and maybe a wrinkle(gasp!) or two. And don’t get me started on the “plus 1s”.
To be perfectly honest, I feel like our high school reunion is gonna be a showcase of engagement rings, baby bumps, baby photos, and husbands/wives (or at least a significant other in your arm). Change in marital status isn’t the only flaunt-worthy thing. Those who are working/studying/living abroad would be comfortable as well since they are pretty much doing something out of the ordinary, or at least not something that the majority of our batch is doing. Those who have put up their own businesses, or are already in a high enough position in a big company would be seen as career-focused go-getters who are worth looking up to.
But me? I have none of the above. I’m a lot of things and nothing at the same time. I’m a graphic designer, storyteller, student, aspiring videographer, insatiable traveler, fangirl, and inventory manager. If you add my sparse blogging, then yeah, a blogger as well. But somehow, I don’t think any of these, even when put together, would make much of an impact as an answer to, “So, what have you been doing lately?”
First off, I don’t know what to say to that. I’d pretty much say, “Ah, I help out in our family business.” That answer right there is pretty much the same answer that half of our batch would give. Coming from a Chinese community, that’s like the path that was set for most of us. It could either be a suffocating one or a liberating one depending on each person’s circumstances. As for me, contrary to what I believed before, this certain path has given me the needed liberty to pursue my other passions, and I’m really happy where I am right now.
It’s a little contradictory, right? I say that I’m happy where I am, but then me not wanting to go to my high school reunion is coming across as me being insecure of my current situation. Well, to be perfectly honest, yeah, I kind of am.
It’s petty, I know, but I would really hate to hear the loss of interest as they say, “Ah… family business. Yes.” Like I haven’t achieved anything in my life. Could be true, I don’t know. This may just be an internal conflict that I’m projecting outwards, and maybe people wouldn’t really care what I’m doing.
The bottom line is, I’m really not ready to see all of them anytime soon. In our community, it’s rare for people to go far after high school. Only a quarter of our batch ventured out into the wild wild world for their bachelors or masters. The rest of us went to the same universities and bumped into each other in malls and other places. We lived in the same place, talked to the same people, even though our own little worlds expanded, we never lost touch.
The people that I want to see, I already see as often as I want.
Even most of the people that I want to see aren’t going. I don’t wanna pay 2000php to spend a night being uncomfortable and feeling sorry for myself. So tell me, is all this such an assbutt reason for me not to go?